Off to College, I wanna see the World
by Treesh Aradia
Summary: A ONE SHOT that looks at how going away puts certain things into perspective. However if you’ve read 'Kiss Cycle', this can be considered a sort of continuation.


**Author:** Treesh Aradia

**Summary:** A ONE SHOT that looks at how going away puts certain things into perspective. However if you've read _Kiss Cycle_, this can be considered a sort of continuation.

**Pairing:** Eli/Grace

**Disclaimer:** Characters are not mine. Situation they are being put in is. Nuff said.

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**Off to College, I wanna see the world.**

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I'd never even thought about what I'd do if she left. There was never a question in my mind of _when_ it would happen. So I was stunned into silence after hearing that she was off to Yale. 'Off to see the world' - but did she have to do it a million miles away from us?

She was my compass needle. No matter how lost I was, no matter how insanely troubling it was to find my North, the compass needle was always there.

As a guide, as a saving light.

Without her, there won't be a compass. Unless you count those digital compass things you see people on Amazing Race use when they're crossing through desert locations. But I want the needle. Dammit, I need the needle.

I knew without doubt that she would go. Come rain or shine. She mentioned it once during our brief awkward friendship, before normalcy was replaced with tension and misplaced jealousy, that she wanted to go off to some elite college, to start living her life there. To be her own person, instead of trailing behind her mother's shadow in this little town for people with quaint dreams.

She wanted the excitement. However what she _really_ wanted was to be in control of her own life, to forget ever being affected by family decisions that had nothing and yet everything to do with her. I had laughed at that, vaguely condescending about how disenchanted she must be, if she had to resort to hoping for the impossible.

No one can ever be on their own. Not in a family like ours, where your business is my business and my business, yours. I never imagined that she'd try.

And now she's halfway to success. Running a thousand miles (or so it seems) away from home, in hopes of not having to change her life just because someone in her life is changing theirs. If she can't be totally independent, then her next best shot is to be indifferent. Leaving everything behind is a pretty good plan.

But now she's going to leave me too.

Thoughts of parties, frat boys and summer fun never came to mind until she mentioned maybe even getting a _boyfriend_ there.

Is it so hard for her to wait for me?

We never spoke about it, but somehow I thought we made a pact anyway. That she would wait, I would too, until the perfect time when we could...further whatever it is that we have right now. She never spoke about her plans to leave, and I guess now I don't even know if we even had a pact.

Relationships with other people were just that. They came and went and held a second-class importance in our lives. They were just there to fill in the temporary gap that our _waiting_ had left, they were never meant to seal the chasm completely. Her leaving might.

"Eli?" Her voice had never sounded more concerned. I turned and saw her outline made from the contrasting light that seemed to create a luminous tinge in the darkness of the balcony.

"Hey." I never was one for words.

I saw her step closer and her face came into view, all big imploring eyes and full lips. Lips that I tasted almost everyday - in dreams and sometimes, on Thursday nights.

I never will again, I realized, if she leaves.

This was it, the big climactic end, or how one looked at it.

"You didn't give me the whole 'good for you' bit." She chuckled as she was probably reminded of Lily and Lily's tendency to cry and nag and laugh at the same time. Yale was a big thing to her, her baby girl going off all alone, and so far from home.

I stared at her, wondering how she could have expected that from me. I was ambushed just now. No forewarnings just the attack, just the news of her leaving. "Well, what did you need me to say Gracie?"

She shifted her eyes, choosing to stare into the big black horizon. "I need this, E."

I know she does. We were killing ourselves every time one of us spoke of a new someone we'd met, some one we were going to date. But I needed her here.

"Please understand." She turned to go, guessing that I wasn't going to say anything. Well, I wasn't.

But I caught her arm. "I do."

And I kissed her forehead. She left with a soft thank you, and I was left with nothing again.

The story of my life.

"Eli!" I didn't manage to catch a breath before her lips captured mine. Her lips, her scent, she was giving me that one last-

"I'll wait Eli, but not here. I couldn't take it if they knew and objected." Staring into her eyes again, being close like this, I found my needle again.

I laughed at her confused expression. "Nothing."

She quieted and said nothing. Waiting. For her needle. And I knew we would be ok.

"I'll come visit."

She smiled, a real smile as we finalized a new pact.

We were both going to see the world.

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